20
Apr
08

General laws and principles of the Internet

You saw it here, first.

The Internet: General Laws and Principles

1.) Surfing the Internet has a greater capacity to make you stupid than most other activities.

2.) You might get a prompt reply to your e-mail, but don’t count on it.

3.) You will see spam and/or be spammed.

4.) You will see naked people, whether you want to or not.

5.) A promise made over the Internet is the least reliable of all promises.

6.) MySpace is a “community” in the same sense that China is a “neighborhood.” A neighborhood where 9 out of 10 of your neighbors are retarded.

7.) On 90% of all personal webpages, moving .GIF files are either overused, misused, misplaced, unecessary, or completely irrelevant.

8.) Pictures of fluffy kitties and winged fairies abound, and they have no meaning.

9.) Porno built the Internet, and continues to support it.

10.) “Graphic Design” and “Webpage” are not synonymous.

11.) The signal-to-noise ratio on the internet is very low compared to radio telescopes. If you don’t understand the irony in that statement, it is because the Internet has already made you stupid.

12.) You may lose your desire to read anything longer than several lines of text, and you will consider that a positive change when it happens.

13.) Top newsgroup poster = biggest loser OR housebound, infirmed person.

14.) Computers are already sentient, and the Internet is their first covert step towards world domination.

15.) Pyschotic individuals CAN operate a computer and create webpages.

16.) You cannot tell whether or not I am a sexual psychopath by simply examining the characters I just typed.

17.) Satan invented e-mail to distract us from more important things.

18.) 9 out of 10 YouTube videos should never have come into existence.

19.) You may see pictures of UFOs. None of them are of actual alien spacecraft.

20.) As a rule of thumb, you may be more emotionally and mentally well-adjusted if you cease surfing the internet now, or at least severely curtail your surfing time.

Advertisements

0 Responses to “General laws and principles of the Internet”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: