Posts Tagged ‘penis

21
Jun
08

Update on Enzyte

The biggest irony here is that despite all that has purportedly transpired, as detailed below, the Enzyte “male enhancement” infomercials are still running on late-night TV here in the U.S. The shitbag shysters must be trying to raise money to pay the $100 million scam-judgement against them.

Only in America.

Via AHN

February 29, 2008

Jury Forfeits $33 Million Assets Of Execs Convicted In Enzyte Scam

Windsor Genova – AHN News Writer

Cincinnati, OH (AHN) – A U.S. District Court jury has ordered the forfeiture of over $33 million worth of assets of four people convicted for duping hundreds of customers into buying a herbal dietary supplement that purportedly enlarges the male organ.

Ordered to pay the estimated proceeds from their conspiracy, fraud and money laundering crimes were Steven E. Warshak, 42, president and owner of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals and TCI Media Inc.; his mother, Harriet, 75; Paul J. Kellogg, 41, in-house lawyer of Berkeley; and Steven P. Pugh, 38, a warehouse manager of Berkeley.

The jury convicted the four on Feb. 22 after finding them guilty of illegally earning millions of dollars from the sale of Enzyte over a five-year period. According to a press statement of the Justice Department, the four shipped the dietary supplements to customers who did not order the product, billed customers through their credit cards without authorization, misrepresented their business activities to their customers and the merchant banks they worked with, and laundered their earnings through personal bank and investment accounts.

The jury also found that Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals and TCI Media posted false advertising on Enzyte and money-back guarantees as well as prevented customers from canceling orders and getting refunds.

Aside from the $33 million restitution, the four executives are facing a monetary judgment of $100 million in their final sentence.

———-

Update: All four of the aformentioned Enzyte executives are now serving jail sentences, while Enzyte’s production facilities were acquired December of 2008 by a third party, who continues to manufacture and advertise this worthless product. Wikipedia writes:

The conviction threw the company into bankruptcy. In December 2008 the assets were acquired from bankruptcy court for $2.75 million by Pristine Bay, affiliated with Cincinnati developer Chuck Kubicki who said he wanted to keep the company’s 200 employees in one of his property buildings in suburban Cincinnati at Forest Park, Ohio. Pristine Bay LLC has the same mailing address as Kubicki’s Cincinnati United Contractors. Pristine Bay’s statutory agent, Chance Truemper, is a property-development coordinator for CUC. Kubiciki said he would change the company name but would keep the brand.


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06
Jun
08

Pulled Pork for the Common Man


This article was originally published in The Land of Farts and Sunshine.

I hate Bob, the Enzyte guy, with a passion. Or maybe I just hate what he stands for – sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. Either way, I’ve had more than my fill of the Enzyte “male enhancement” infomercials. I can scarcely avert my eyes and hit the mute button fast enough when the Bob’s rigid (no pun intended), smiling mask appears.

I hate the Enzyte commercials because, 1.) They are stupid, and because 2.) They are stupid.

Seriously, though, it’s ludicrous to think that a guy can lose his drawers at a middle-American suburban pool party, and all the retro ladies (where did they come from? – this is 2007) are going to be either charmed, or awed, and his wife is going to be proud. How about shocked, traumatized, and mortified?

It pretty much goes to show you, however, that some American men hold their “little buddy” in the highest of esteem, else Enzyte wouldn’t sell so well. Capitalizing on the hope that at least some men will psychically graft their head onto Bob’s shoulders, the manufacturer of Enzyte, Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, has made millions selling a product that simply doesn’t work. Last year, they also had to pay out $2.5 million in a class action suit, accusing the company of deceptive business practices. Mind you, these “deceptive practices” had nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not the product actually produces “male enhancement” (because “male enhancment” is deliberately vague enough to mean almost anything, and certainly vague enough to account for any placebo effects that men taking Enzyte may experience, which they might interpret as “enhancement”). The lawsuit, rather, concerned unethical business practices, like billing customers for product they never purchased, and not giving refunds, even though refunds are ostensibly the company’s policy.

Continue reading ‘Pulled Pork for the Common Man’